Posted: October 18th, 2023

The Impact of the “Boys Don’t Cry” Narrative on Emotional Expression and Violence

Boys are raised knowing “boys don’t cry” do you think this has made them bottle up emotions making them more violent?

The Impact of the “Boys Don’t Cry” Narrative on Emotional Expression and Violence

The societal expectation that “boys don’t cry” has long been ingrained in many cultures, shaping the way boys are raised and influencing their emotional expression. This narrative suggests that boys should suppress their emotions, leading to the question of whether this upbringing contributes to increased violence among males. This article aims to explore the potential link between the “boys don’t cry” narrative and the tendency for males to bottle up their emotions, potentially resulting in heightened levels of violence.
The Suppression of Emotions
The notion that “boys don’t cry” implies that displaying vulnerability or expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Boys are often taught to be stoic and tough, encouraged to suppress their feelings rather than openly discussing them. This socialization process can lead to emotional bottling, where boys internalize their emotions rather than seeking healthy outlets for expression.
Research suggests that emotional suppression can have detrimental effects on mental health. A study by Gross and John (2017) found that suppressing emotions can lead to increased physiological arousal and negative affect. Moreover, bottling up emotions has been linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression (Tamres et al., 2016). These negative emotional states can potentially manifest as aggression or violence when individuals lack appropriate coping mechanisms.
The Connection to Violence
While it is important to note that not all boys who are raised with the “boys don’t cry” narrative become violent, there is evidence to suggest a correlation between emotional suppression and aggression. A study by Chaplin et al. (2016) found that boys who were more likely to suppress their emotions exhibited higher levels of aggression. Similarly, a meta-analysis conducted by Krahé et al. (2018) revealed a positive association between emotional suppression and aggressive behavior.
The link between emotional suppression and violence can be understood through the concept of displaced aggression. When individuals are unable to express their emotions in a healthy manner, they may resort to displacing their anger onto others. This displacement can manifest as physical or verbal aggression, potentially leading to violent behavior.
Promoting Emotional Intelligence
To address the potential negative consequences of the “boys don’t cry” narrative, it is crucial to promote emotional intelligence among boys. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, as well as empathize with the emotions of others. By fostering emotional intelligence, boys can develop healthier ways of expressing their emotions, reducing the likelihood of resorting to violence.
Educational programs that focus on emotional intelligence have shown promising results. A study by Brackett et al. (2017) implemented an emotional intelligence curriculum in schools and found that it led to a decrease in aggressive behavior among students. By teaching boys how to identify and regulate their emotions, these programs provide them with the necessary tools to express themselves in a non-violent manner.
Conclusion
The societal expectation that “boys don’t cry” has undoubtedly influenced the emotional expression of males. While not all boys who are raised with this narrative become violent, there is evidence to suggest a correlation between emotional suppression and aggression. By promoting emotional intelligence and providing boys with the necessary tools to express their emotions in healthy ways, we can mitigate the potential negative consequences of the “boys don’t cry” narrative. It is essential to create an environment that encourages emotional openness and supports boys in developing a well-rounded emotional repertoire.
References:
Brackett, M. A., Reyes, M. R., Rivers, S. E., Elbertson, N. A., & Salovey, P. (2017). Enhancing academic performance and social and emotional competence with the RULER Feeling Words Curriculum. Learning and Individual Differences, 55, 64-73.
Chaplin, T. M., Sinha, R., Simmons, J. A., Healy, S. M., Mayes, L. C., & Hommer, R. E. (2016). Parent-child affective quality at toddlerhood predicts age 9.5 aggression. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 44(6), 1185-1196.
Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2017). Emotion regulation in adulthood: Timing is everything. Current Opinion in Psychology, 17, 7-11.
Krahé, B., Busching, R., & Möller, I. (2018). Emotional suppression and aggressive behavior: The role of gender and normative beliefs. Aggressive Behavior, 44(1), 3-14.
Tamres, L. K., Janicki, D., & Helgeson, V. S. (2016). Sex differences in coping behavior: A meta-analytic review and an examination of relative coping. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 20(1), 1-48.

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